As a kid, I was always on the prowl for Halloween jokes to spook my neighbors and score some sweet treats. After all, it was the way to earn candy in our neighborhood!
To get into the spooky spirit and maybe even earn some extra sweet treats, I’ve conjured up a list of 115 Halloween jokes for kids that will get even the grumpiest witches cackling!
Whether you’re looking for witchy puns or monstrous one-liners, these jokes are splendid for all ages (even if you’re as old as a mummy).
Cheesy Halloween Jokes
These jokes won’t freak you out or chill your bones. Instead, they will make you laugh and maybe roll your eyes, for they are super corny! It’s a great one to share with the whole coven, including little siblings or grandparents.
Below are 20 short jokes and answers so that you can appear at your Halloween party fully prepared.
- Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts. - What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein! - Where do celebrities go on Halloween?
Mali-boo! - What do ghosts wear if they have bad eyesight?
Spooktacles. - How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle her funny bone. - Why is a ghost a messy eater?
He is always gobblin’! - What do ghosts use when doing their makeup?
Vanishing cream. - What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Straw-berries. - What music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music. - What’s the best dessert to eat on Halloween?
Ice scream! - What can you catch from a vampire in winter?
Frostbite. - Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them. - Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They are afraid to relax and unwind. - How do ghosts send letters?
From the ghost office. - What do birds say on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet. - What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?
A monster riding a tricycle. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben waiting to go trick-or-treating all day! - What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving. - What has 100 ears but can’t hear a thing?
A cornfield. - How do you know that a vampire likes baseball?
At night, he turns into a bat.
Spooky Dad Jokes
Calling all fathers! These 20 jokes are spooky but still funny enough to make your kids laugh out loud. Okay, maybe not your teenagers — they might moan and groan. But in our experience, that’s the sign of a good pun.
- What kind of rocks do ghosts collect?
Tombstones. - What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat?
Brain food. - What kind of tests do vampires give their students?
Blood tests. - Where do zombies live?
On dead-end streets. - How do vampires travel on Halloween?
On blood vessels. - What do you call a witch who lives on the beach?
A sand-witch. - Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin! - Why did the ghost starch his sheet?
He wanted to scare everyone stiff. - What key opens a haunted house?
A spook-key. - What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange. - How do witches keep their hair looking good?
Lots of scare-spray. - Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life. - Who do monsters buy their cookies from?
Ghoul Scouts. - Why doesn’t anyone like hanging out with Dracula?
He’s a pain in the neck. - What is a monster’s favorite pet?
Creepy crawlies. - How do you get a werewolf to stop chasing you?
Throw a stick and say “fetch”. - How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern… - What’s the best way to talk to a vampire?
From very far away! - Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
He had no body to go with. - How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
He starts coffin.
Halloween Jokes and Riddles
Here are 20 more Halloween jokes for kids and for adults that will spook you, scare you, or make you laugh! I’ve also included some riddles to get those gears turning as you try and figure out the pun.
- The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?
A coffin. - How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch. - With pointed fangs, I sit and wait. With piercing force, I dole out fate. Over bloodless victims, I proclaim my might. I can eternally join with a single bite. What am I?
A vampire. - What did the scarecrow say to the child who dressed up as corn?
That costume is a-MAIZE-ing. - What is a witch’s favorite subject?
Spell-ing. - What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair?
A roller-ghoster. - What is a zombie’s favorite cereal?
Rice Creepies. - What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone. - What do you call witches who live together?
Broom mates. - Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
He didn’t have a haunting license. - When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you’re a mouse. - What room will you never find in a ghost’s house?
A living room. - I have a name, but it isn’t mine. You don’t think about me while in your prime. People cry when I’m in their sight. Others lie with me all day and night. What am I?
A tombstone. - How can you spell ‘candy’ with two letters?
C and Y (C-and-Y). - How are vampires like false teeth?
They both come out at night. - What candy do you eat on the playground?
Recess pieces. - Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it. - Why was the skeleton so messy?
Because he was a lazy bones! - Where do ghosts go on holiday?
The Boohamas. - Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Dark Halloween Jokes
Are you ready for some jokes that are a little more eerie? These might send a chill up your spine, but if you want something less cheesy and more spooky, here are 20 creepy jokes for you.
- Why do they put fences around graveyards?
People are dying to get in. - Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately. - Why do demons and ghouls hang out?
Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend! - What health insurance do monsters use?
Medi-scare. - Where do ghost parents take baby ghosts?
Day-scare. - Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank. - What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
You hope that it’s Halloween! - What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs. - What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound. - Where do ghost pirates sail?
On the Dead Sea. - What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life! - What is Dracula’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa! - Why was the cemetery the perfect place to write a book?
Because it had great plots. - What does a ghost teacher say to their students?
Watch the board, and I’ll go through it again. - What happened to the cannibal who showed up late for Halloween?
They gave him the cold shoulder. - What do you call an observant wolf?
Awarewolf. - What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
pare ribs. - Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
Any old friend he could dig up! - What does a ghoul put on its pizza?
Monster-ella cheese. - What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.
Halloween Jokes for Toddlers
If your little one doesn’t quite understand the dark jokes and dad jokes, I’ve put together a list of 20 dumb (but cute) Halloween jokes that are more toddler-friendly. With a simpler pun, these jokes for 4-year-olds and 5-year-olds should go down a treat.
- What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween?
Winnie the Boo! - What kind of car does a goblin take to go Trick or Treating?
A monster truck. - What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
Snap, Cackle & Pop! - What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone Appetite! - What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin. - What does a ghost say to its girlfriend?
Hey, boo! - What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash! - Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
At the ghost-ery store! - What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
Happy Owl-ween! - What do birds hand out on Halloween?
Tweets. - How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me Halloween candy? - What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine. - What did the skeleton wear to the Halloween party?
A human costume. - What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A hoblin goblin. - What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?
Trick or feet! - How does Bigfoot capture special memories?
With a pho-TOE-graph. - What is a ghost’s nose full of?
Boooogers. - What do ghosts give to trick or treaters?
Booberries! - How do ghosts exercise?
They play frisboo.
Silly Halloween Puns
So, you found a joke of the day, but are you looking for a funny Halloween pun for kids you can say in passing to your neighbors or use as an Instagram caption? These 15 fantastic puns are spooky and silly enough to get you in the Halloween mood!
- Witch upon a star.
- Hope you’re feeling spook-tacular!
- Like my costume? I got it at a boo-tique.
- You are 100 percent that witch.
- If you’ve got it, haunt it.
- Go big or gourd home!
- Goblin up candy all night.
- You are absolutely BOO-tiful.
- Join my fang club!
- Witch way to the pumpkin patch?
- Oh my gourdness, it’s finally Halloween!
- We were bone to be wild.
- Dying to have fun.
- I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy.
- Bow down to your Hallow-queen.
Cackle Away
With this list of 115 spookily hilarious jokes for teens and for toddlers — and everyone in between — the Halloween spirit is hovering among us. We’ve got dark jokes, cheesy jokes, and silly puns, creating a fantastic repertoire of October jokes.
Use these to get into the Halloween mood, mingle at a Halloween party, or score candy from your neighbors. After all, a kid-friendly but hilarious joke will go down a treat — and in turn, hopefully, earn you one too!
