100 Fish Jokes & Puns for Kids: They’re a Total Catch

Ready to hook your friends and family with some fin-tastic fish jokes and riddles? Look no further!

I’ve reeled in 100 of the funniest fishing jokes that will have you falling overboard with laughter, so grab onto something tight and get ready to laugh your gills off!

From silly knock-knock jokes to dad jokes, these jokes will make a splash at your next social gathering. So don’t be koi; dive right in, and get ready to laugh until you’re blue in the face.

Funny Fish Jokes

Dive into these 20 hilarious jokes about fish, perfect for adults and kids. Whether you want to break the ice on a fishing trip or crack some jokes at an aquarium, memorize these (better than a goldfish) and wow your buddies.

1. What do you get when you put Nutella on salmon?
   Salmonella.
2. What’s the best music to listen to while fishing?
   Something really catchy.
3. Two fish are in a tank, and one turns to the other and says:
   “How do you drive this thing?”
4. Where can you find a fish in orbit?
   Trouter space!
5. Why don’t fish like basketball?
   They’re afraid of nets.
6. What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?
   “That tasted a bit funny…”
7. Why did the fish get bad grades?
   It was below sea level.
8. What TV show starring Charlie Sheen do fish love?
   Tuna-Half Men.
9. I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day…
   Until I pulled a mussel.
10. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
    One, but you should have seen the bulb — it was this big!
11. What kind of fish belongs in a circus?
    A clownfish!
12. What kind of fish eats mice?
    A catfish.
13. What’s the best way to get in contact with a fish?
    Drop it a line.
14. Why aren’t there any job openings at the big fish company?
    They’ve been scaling back.
15. Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got to the coral reef?
    They saw a clownfish.
16. What is the best way to catch a fish on the internet?
    Clickbait.
17. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    Fsh.
18. How do shellfish get to the hospital?
    In a clam-bulance.
19. What do you call a man and woman who own a fishing store?
    Rod and Annette.
20. There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant.
    One fish got battered!

Fish Jokes for Kids

I’ve put these 25 clean and cheesy jokes together, especially with kids in mind. Whether you have a kindergartener or a 12-year-old, they’re bound to make a splash!

21. What do you most fish want?
    A gillfriend.
22. Who grants a fish’s wish?
    A Fairy Cod Mother.
23. How do you spot a Cinderella fish?
    They have glass flippers.
24. What is a pirate’s favorite fish?
    A swordfish.
25. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
    You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
26. What do you call a fish on a plane?
    A flying fish.
27. What’s the easiest way to catch a fish?
    Have someone throw it at you.
28. What do fish take to stay healthy?
    Vitamin Sea.
29. What is the most valuable fish?
    A goldfish.
30. How do you make a starfish turn shiny?
    Drop it into sparkling water.
31. What did the fish get on his math test?
    A sea plus.
32. What kind of fish only comes out at night?
    A starfish.
33. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
    Tentacles.
34. What day of the week do fish dislike the most?
    Fryday.
35. Why are fish so easy to weigh?
    They have their own scales.
36. Why will fish never take responsibility?
    Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
37. What’s a family of fish’s favorite game to play?
    Salmon Says.
38. How do you make a goldfish old?
    Take away the “g”.
39. What kind of guitar do fish play?
    Bass guitar.
40. Where do fish sleep?
    On the sea bed.
41. What’s better than a tuna sandwich?
    A three-na sandwich.
42. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
    I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
43. What’s weirder than seeing a cat fish?
    Seeing a goldfish bowl.
44. Where do female fish keep their money?
    In their octopurse.
45. What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with a gym sock?
    A hook, line, and stinker!

Fishy One-Liner Jokes

Dive into these rare fish-themed one-liners that’ll add a corny twist to any conversation. No questions, just straight-up humorous sayings to reel in the laughs!

46. Don’t go fishing for compliments.
47. If I were the captain of this ship, I’d make him walk the plank-ton for that!
48. When a fish meets the love of their life, it says they’ve met the “gill of their dreams”.
49. The crayfish had a girlfriend, but then he lobster.
50. Did you hear about the lazy crawfish? What a lobster!
51. Never mess with a clownfish. You don’t want to make anemone!
52. You know why fish live in salt water, right? Pepper makes them sneeze.
53. I’ve always admired fishermen. They are reel men.
54. Cod you be any funnier?
55. Don’t trust unlicensed fish puns. Make sure they’re ‘o-fish-ial’.
56. The first book in the fish bible is called Craytion.
57. The only thing I can take seriously in the newspaper these days is fish and chips. Even then, I take it with a pinch of salt.
58. An octopus is always ready for war because they’re well-armed.
59. We all need to clam down now — I’m a bit shell-shocked.
60. Fish children should piscine and not heard.
61. You can’t expect a squid to answer a tricky question without inking about it first.
62. I started a new underwater band project. I hope you like aquapella.
63. The fish bought an engagement ring, but it had to prawn everything.
64. I’m hoping to avoid turtle disaster here!
65. Don’t try to talk to a fish before they’ve caf-fin-ated.

Knock-Knock Jokes About Fish

I’m going to keep going with my seafood jokes, just for the halibut! Get ready for fin-tastic knock-knock jokes that are so cheesy, you’ll love them.

66. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Fish.
    Fish who?
    Bless you!
67. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Interrupting starfish.
    Interrupting starfish wh…*press palm into their face*
68. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Artie Fish.
    Artie Fish who?
    Artie Fish-al Intelligence.
69. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Kelp.
    Kelp who?
    Kelp me, I’m drowning!
70. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Fishy.
    Fishy who?
    Fishing around for a good laugh, are ya?
71. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
    Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knockwho?
    Knocktopus.
72. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Fish.
    Fish who?
    Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!
73. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Whale.
    Whale who?
    Whalecome to the ocean, my friend!
74. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Wanda.
    Wanda who?
    Wanda go fishing and catch these funny fish jokes?
75. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Crab.
    Crab who?
    Crabtastic day, let’s go for a swim!

Corny Fish Puns

Get ready to discover some gill-tastic fish puns! Whether you want to slide one in while fishing with friends or you need something to caption your social media post, these 25 sayings are packed full of humor.

76. Let minnow if you catch any fish.
77. You’re fin-tastic.
78. I’ll love you for a krill-ion years.
79. When your fish boss is looking, act e-fish-ent.
80. Surfing the net is great unless, you know, you’re a fish.
81. I sometimes go fishing, just for the halibut!
82. My child won’t eat fish, so I replaced it with a cat. Cats love fish.
83. The best way to catch a school of fish is with bookworms.
84. Batman and Robin had to quit fishing together. Robin ate all the worms.
85. There was a sale at the fish market. I went to see what the catch was.
86. When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.
87. Did you hear about the silly octopus? Just squidding.
88. Who will be the sole survivor?
89. When another fish tries to call you cray-zy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
90. Cod this be any punnier?
91. The best way to make a fish laugh is to tell it a whale of a tale.
92. Sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so gill-ty.
93. This calamari is ex-squid-sit. Thank you.
94. I forgot to renew my fishing license. I’m royally scrod.
95. I’m not sure I got the best price on my rod and hooks. It sounded fishy to me.
96. Fishing is easy. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to figure it out.
97. It’s funny how fish never seem to know what you’re talking aboat.
98. I made some fish tacos last night. They just swam right past them.
99. These days, pretty much anyone can o-fish-iate a wedding, as long as they get certified from the net.
100. Great fish and chips, but cod you pass the peas?